Always and Forever: Rugby Brothers, Book 3 Read online

  “She wrote me a note,” he began. He didn’t have to turn to know Mitch was probably leaning against the kitchen counter while Connor would prefer the small sofa. “At least she wrote it instead of typing it. Two lines that could have been for anybody. That’s all I got from her. We shared everything, and when she ends it, all I get is a ‘Thank you’ and ‘Go live your life.’”

  He pursed his lips; the now-familiar pounding in his head had returned. Incessant; merciless. It began as soon as he read Margot’s words and returned whenever he took the time to think. The only thing that softened its presence was drink. Lots of it. His mother would have been disappointed; his father would have understood.

  “Go live your life.” His voice was louder than expected. “What the hell does that even mean? She was my life. She knew that.”

  “Mate…”

  He cursed loudly before walking to the fridge. He reached for a glass bottle and flicked open the cover with his teeth. “I’m going for a walk. Don’t worry. I’ll be back. You should go. Just shut the door. Lots of sandflies this time of year.”

  He half expected at least one of them to follow him. Their presence would’ve fed his anger. He felt their eyes on him as he walked barefoot toward the beach, sudden swirls of wind throwing sand in his eyes.

  Mano caught a flash of red in the water. He recognized the surfboard from last week, distinctive in color and a contrast to the blue of the ocean it pierced through. The lone surfer took the wave with the ease and grace of someone who had been doing it for years. Shouts echoed through the wind. He scanned the water and picked up another group of surfers not too far away, a younger group, eager in their efforts to pick up the next wave.

  He pulled on his hood, took another swig of his drink, but changed his direction from the water’s edge to away…just away.

  When he returned a couple of hours later, he noticed sleeping pads on the living room floor. The smell of real food lingered. Connor was at the kitchen counter, his laptop open. He looked up when Mano entered.

  “He’s here, mate. Do you want to say ‘hi’?”

  Mano shook his head, but Connor had already turned the screen toward him. “He’s been waiting for a long time to talk to you,” Connor said quietly.

  Mano gave Connor his beer bottle then inhaled deeply. He pulled a smile from somewhere. “Hi, Fred. How’s my godson doing?”

  “Uncle Mano! I’ve missed you!” Big blue eyes shone through the computer screen. “Did Dad tell you? I told him not to, but Mummy says he can’t keep a secret ever!”

  “Your dad hasn’t told me anything.”

  “I could get down Jayne’s ramp on my skateboard today! I did it! And she didn’t even have to hold my hands! On my own, Uncle Mano!”

  A little flame of joy burned through the heaviness of his heart. This time, the smile was genuine. “I’m proud of you, mate! You should be too!”

  “I am!” Fred’s head disappeared every other second as he jumped up and down. “I did it! Jayne was so happy for me that she started to cry! I’ve never ever seen her cry before!”

  Mano looked at Jayne’s father. Mitch didn’t hide his smile as he continued to stir whatever it was he was cooking on the stovetop.

  “Uncle Mano? When are you coming back?”

  Mitch stopped stirring. Connor’s body stiffened. Neither looked at him, but they wanted to know the answer as well.

  Mano sighed. “I’m not sure, mate. You know I’m always thinking of you.”

  “Don’t be away too long, okay? I’ve said the prayers you taught me every night this week.”

  “You’re a good fella, Fred Dane.” He bit back what he wanted to add. Prayers don’t work, mate. But Fred’s toothy grin stopped him, and Mano could only return the smile. “I’ll see you when I can, right? Take care of your little bro. And give your mum a big hug for me.”

  “I will. I love you, uncle.”

  Mano’s throat tightened; oxygen didn’t reach his lungs. “I love you too, mate,” he forced out.

  He turned the screen back to Connor and walked straight into his bedroom, shutting the door. He leaned against the door, his breathing shallow, the pounding in his head more relentless than ever.

  Dammit.

  They wouldn’t leave.

  He yelled; they yelled back. He tried to start a fight, but together, they were stronger. When he had nothing left inside, they held him. They took turns to slowly feed his soul…then his body.

  After a fortnight, Connor flew home for the weekend; Mitch went home the next. But they both came back.

  They started running one morning, a slow, steady pace on the beach. His body must have remembered what it was like to be in shape because the following morning, he was ready to repeat the exercise.

  Then they started to incorporate sprints, pushing him by example. Longer runs; faster runs; sit-ups; push-ups. They helped strangers pull their kayaks, surfboards, and boats out of the water. The memories of his shared youth with Jay came back, and their late friend’s name came up on cold nights by an outdoor fire.

  “I’m not him, you know,” Mano said. “I just want to be alone.”

  “Don’t believe you, yet,” Mitch said, his eyes steady on the flames. “Jay never said when it was bad. We just learned to trust the signs.”

  “And you think I’m…”

  Connor shook his head. “We know you’re in shock with Margot leaving.”

  “People end relationships all the time.” Mano threw a twig into the fire. “Go home. Your families need you.”

  “You are family,” Connor responded without hesitation.

  “You can’t stay here forever,” Mano said. “You have real lives to go back to. Mine is here now.”

  Connor shook his head. “We won’t stay here forever. When you’re back in a good place, we’ll go.”

  “And who decides that, eh?”

  “Mate, we know you better than you know yourself.”

  Mitch’s quiet voice spoke next. “After Jay died, Con and I made a promise never to ignore our instincts when it came to our friends. Being here is where we’re supposed to be, brother. Nothing you say will convince us otherwise.”

  Later that night, alone in bed, darkness masking anything he could focus on, Mano recognized he had reached a set of crossroads in his life. He had spent most of his life moving with whatever opportunity presented itself to achieve his goals. Until now, there were only two he had focused on.

  Playing for the national team was a straight road, though a longer and bumpier one than he could have ever imagined. The path to marrying Margot was supposed to be shorter and smoother. But the unexpected dead end of that journey had thrown him into disarray.

  Where to now?

  If his rugby brothers hadn’t shown up when they did, he might have continued in his attempts to drive through the dead end instead of turning around.

  But which road he was to take next remained a decision he had yet to make.

  He woke up the next morning, still unsure of what lay ahead. But for the first time since their arrival, he took charge of breakfast. The sound of the blender woke up Mitch and Connor.

  “You all right, mate?” Mitch asked.

  Mano studied the mixture before deciding to pulse the liquid further. “Yes. Just thought we could use one of your brother’s famous green protein shakes before we head out this morning.”

  He caught the look Connor threw at Mitch.

  Hope.

  “Con? I don’t think you’ve tried one of Tim Molloy’s protein recipes,” Mano said.

  “I’ll give anything a go at least once,” Connor replied.

  They ran ten kilometers after breakfast, up and down the beach. While he was the youngest of the three men and still —technically— playing professionally, his month of careless living hadn’t done him any favors.

  They kept running in the morning. Usually, in silence. They’d then leave him to his thoughts for the rest of the day, but he was never alone. Slowly, he recogniz
ed that their quiet presence allowed him to start waking up from the nightmare of his life. The darkness he had sought previously seemed less inviting, but at night, the voice of his lost love continued to haunt his dreams.

  One afternoon, after a swim in the ocean, a rugby ball conveniently rolled at their feet. They stared at it; looks exchanged before Mitch picked it up. The owner, a young fella, grinned unapologetically at the three men. With his wet suit unzipped and lying low on his hips, he raised his hands to catch Mitch’s toss but didn’t stop moving until he reached them.

  “Fancy a bit of a game? Us against you three.” He nodded his head to the group of young men behind him.

  “Not quite the fair odds, is it?” Mitch asked. “There’s six of you.”

  “Seven,” interjected another broad-shouldered man who walked up and stood behind his friend. Bronzed and muscled with dirty-blond hair, he grinned. “We think it’s pretty fair given none of us have won the World Championship.”

  “We’re old,” Connor said, earning a side-glance from Mitch.

  “We’ve been watching the three of you on the beach these last couple of weeks, bro,” said the first man. “Old or not, I bet it’d be fun.”

  “We’ve got a few bottles from the best breweries in the area up for grabs,” the second man tempted.

  Connor snorted. Mano shook his head slightly but knew whatever Mitch decided, Connor and he would stand behind their friend. It was how it’d always been.

  Mitch tossed the ball back at the first man. “A six-pack and whatever else you brought for the barbie. We’ve seen you lot around as well. You come prepared.”

  The surfers didn’t tell the rugby players they’d played high school rugby; four had played in state championships. It was supposed to have been touch rugby, but after an “accidental” hit to Mitch’s face, the competitiveness that took Mitch, Connor, and Mano to the top level of their sport ignited. No one hurt their captain. Ever.

  A couple of hours later, they laughed unashamedly as they carried the chilly bin back to Mano’s bach, bruised physically but high with victory.

  The careful diet observed over the last few weeks was forgotten that night. They took a step back in time, to a shared period of their lives before global accolades and the frenzied interests in their personal lives. Before the trophies and medals, they were just mates. Impromptu barbecues were the norm.

  Connor whistled when he surveyed their winnings. “For a group of surfers, they eat well. King shrimp and steak?”

  “You know whose face you pushed into the sand, don’t you?” Mitch asked, tossing Connor a can of beer.

  “Should I?”

  Mano grinned. “That was Ryan Monroe. He’s in the current top five of world surfing.”

  “Well, he plays rugby like shit. Your cousin could take him down without breaking a sweat,” Connor said.

  “That she could,” Mano agreed.

  The fire hissed and flamed as they placed the meat and prawns on the grill.

  “We’re leaving tomorrow, mate,” Mitch said.

  Mano raised his eyebrows. “Just like that?”

  “What do you want? A speech? You’re good.”

  Mano poked at one of the steaks to turn it over. “You trust me again, eh?”

  “Mate, I not only trust you with my life but my daughter’s.”

  Mano paused his grilling. “You can’t say stuff like that to me,” he forced out.

  Mitch grinned then took a long drink. “Why not? It’s the truth. Besides my own family, you and Con are the two men I’d trust with everything I have. I might put Stanton on that list as well only because my wife adores him. But he’s right at the bottom of it.”

  Mano’s lips lifted slightly. “Now that he’s married to my cousin, I guess I should say something to defend his honor.”

  The three men exchanged glances then shook their heads in unison.

  An hour later, Mano broke the satisfying sound of silence. “How did you find me?”

  “You know Stanton’s brother can hack into anything, right?” Connor said.

  “I shouldn’t ask anymore, should I?”

  Mitch shook his head. “Tim managed to get into your room to find your bank records. He owes you a lock, by the way.”

  Mano raised his eyebrows at the idea of Mitch’s geeky, bespectacled younger brother with the genius IQ—who rented a room in his townhouse—doing anything remotely illegal.

  “Yeah,” Mitch agreed. “I couldn’t believe it myself. I think he broke three knives doing it. But we were all pretty frantic.”

  “Once Tim found your bank records, Stanton’s brother managed to figure out that you’d bought this place,” Connor finished.

  Mano leaned back in his chair. “In theory, I could have all of you arrested for trying to find me.”

  “Yes,” Mitch said.

  “Good to know I have something to hold over all of you for the rest of your life.”

  “Uh…we…also heard the message Margot left on the answering machine,” Connor said softly.

  Mano folded his arms across his chest. “In the three years we were together, she never once used that number. I guess she wanted to make sure everyone who lived there knew she was leaving me.”

  “Mano…”

  Mano waved his hand dismissively at Mitch’s interruption. “It’s all right. I understand why you did what you did.”

  “The club in France will still offer you a contract through the year. They will impose penalties for disappearing,” Connor said.

  “Was that you or Mitch?”

  “Stanton. Finally put his law degree to good use,” Mitch answered.

  “I’m done with France. The reason I went no longer applies.”

  Mano was surprised he didn’t feel any anger when he said it out loud. Whatever Margot did now was no longer his business, but his feelings for her parents didn’t end just because his relationship with their daughter had. Antoinette and Michael were good people. They’d welcomed him openly and willingly, never once asking for more than he offered.

  They had initially tried to refuse his offer to pay for Margot’s private treatment. In the end, pride took a back seat to the fear of loss. Antoinette was also practical enough to recognize that Michael’s continuing needs as Alzheimer’s began to set in was going to be an additional drain on their family finances.

  No, he’d never regret the season in France. As hurt as he was, he wouldn’t regret loving Margot either.

  “You plan on staying here?” Mitch asked.

  “Why not? I have a house.”

  An odd composition of incredulity and “Are you stupid?” were on the faces of his two friends.

  Mano licked his fingers before reaching for the kitchen towel that doubled as his serviette. “I don’t need much.”

  “If you’re doing this to hide from the world, you’re not being who you are. You’re still young. There’s someone else out there for you.”

  He turned sharply and faced Connor. “There won’t be anyone else. She was going to be the only one I’d ever have in my life. Could you honestly see yourself loving anyone other than Cat?” He nodded in Mitch’s direction. “And he was pretty much a goner as soon as he laid eyes on Liana. Ever seen him do that before?”

  “The difference is that they still want us,” Mitch said. “Margot left you.”

  A bolt of anger shot through Mano’s body. A few weeks ago, he wouldn’t have given a second thought to hitting Mitch. But fact was fact, so he kept his fists by his side. This time. “Doesn’t stop how I still feel about her.”

  But Mitch didn’t back down. “I’ve never lied to you. The man I know would face the life he was meant to live, whatever it is. You hiding out here? Picking up a game of footy on the beach with surfers? This isn’t you, mate.”

  “What does that mean anyway? ‘The life I’m meant to live’? Maybe it’s meant to be here, away from everything I’ve ever known, away from the memories I had made with her. Talk to me again about livi
ng the life I’m meant to live when Liana isn’t in your life anymore, Mitch, because I can tell you, it’s hell!”

  Mano ignored the look Connor threw at Mitch. They sat quietly until the last embers died, no more words exchanged.

  The next morning, before Mitch and Connor headed home, they had a final run up and down the sand dunes. He welcomed the burn in his thighs after a sleepless night. He liked being physically strong again, but instinctively, he also knew he was not entirely out of the emotional hole he had fallen in.

  After they packed the car, Connor held on especially tight in their embrace. “Hang in there, my brother. It’s not just Fred who wants to see you home, yeah?”

  “I know. Thanks, mate. You didn’t have to come….”

  Connor broke their hug and placed his hands on Mano’s shoulders. “I did. I had to be here. If the situation were reversed, you would have been here as well. Thicker than blood, eh?” He stared squarely at Mano. “Please call Spurgeon. He’s waiting. You will, won’t you? We all need help once in a while. Can’t be strong all the time.”

  Mitch handed Mano a paper. “An athletic director at an American college had reached out to Liana a couple of months ago. He’d asked her if I knew of anyone who’d be interested in a consulting position with them for a few months. Pro rugby is expanding over there, and the college wants to build a stronger program to give its students a chance at playing in the professional league. I checked with Liana last night, and the position is still open.”

  Mano stared at the paper, frowning. “America?”

  “Northern California. Liana says the director is a good bloke. And the college is known for producing top athletes that compete internationally. The rugby head coach used to play for the American national team.”

  Mano frowned. “Do we know him?”

  “The records said we’ve played against him once. But I don’t remember him personally.”

  Mano nodded as Mitch reached for a hug. They were both aware of what remained unspoken. They were more than friends. He knew Connor and Mitch would do anything for him, as he would for them.

  “Thicker than blood,” Mano muttered.